Sugar Cookies and Baby Powder.... That's What Grandmas are Made of!

My grandmas made me grilled cheese sandwiches and let me decorate cookies. I grew up with my grandma taking care of me after school. I learned to be mellow, talk softly, and to enjoy watching birds and squirrels in the back yard.
Based on my experience with my grandma, I can see why I am having such a hard time with my son's friends grandma.
My son's friend goes to his grandma's everyday after school and my son had a playdate at her house today.
I may not let my son go back. This grandma gave the boys toast and coke for lunch. It was followed by two pieces of bubble gum and a sucker. Are you kidding me?
The worst part is when I picked my son up he smelled like he had smoked a pack of cigarettes. He hadn't of course, but the grandma smokes in the house.
I admit I knew the grandma smoked, but I guess I thought she wouldn't smoke around kids.
My son on the way home told me he thought grandmas weren't allowed to smoke. I told him sometimes they do, but it was a bad habit.
He then told me he and his friend visited another friend that lived two blocks away. He said the grandma didn't go with them, he and his friend went alone. They are both only in kindergarten. Not okay!!!!
I'm annoyed that this grandma isn't like my grandmas or my son's grandmas. They aren't supposed to smoke and they are supposed to make you eat healthy and play safely..... What the hell?

I'm craving a golden shower, aren't you?

There are things that I really don't understand; some fetishes are one of them. I am by no means a prude, but I am pretty sure having my husbands pee or feces on me wouldn't turn me on. But truly, to each there own. If that gets you hot and bothered, I say go for it. Marriage is hard enough; if you 've got a spicy sex life, your better off than most!

Perhaps I should re-evaluate my own sex life; cause maybe I'm boring :( I'm open to branching out, just no bodily fluids or gag balls, they freak the hell out of me!

Diagnose me...

Severe pain...check
Nausea...check
Sensitive to light...check
Cause -
lack of food or sleep? Are you kidding me. Two kids, a full time job, and three bloody dogs.
bright light or loud noise...see above.
hormone changes during the menstrual cycle, does an IUD count?
stress and anxiety...see above, and who the hell doesn't?
weather changes...We live in Utah for fuck's sake, its always changing.
chocolate, alcohol, or nicotine...Yes, please, and some goddamn coffee.
some foods and food additives, such as MSG or nitrates...no, never, absolutely not.

I have had two migraine headaches in two days, and it's not making me very happy. Are they migraines, sounds like it. But what the hell do I know its only about the 4th time in my life I have had what I think is a migraine.
I try not to be a hypochondriac...but its hard not to when you can't see what the hell you are doing and your eyes are about to pop out of your head and blah.blah.blah.
Poor me. Just had to share, it sucks.

You're going to eat them and you're going to like it...

I don't do chunks. Chunks of any kind make me gag and instantly become queasy. I have been with my spouse for 10 years and he of course knows that I don't do chunks. Nevertheless, he comes home from the store with chunks. He then enlightens me that he bought the chunks and that I am going to eat them. Really, I'm going to eat them quite puzzled. Dismissing my aversion tells me that there aren't many. Does that matter; a chunk is a chunk.

Let me just say there will be a plethora of hardboiled eggs in your future, so get ready to eat them and god dammit your going to like them.

Would you tell?

It's an age old question; would you tell your friend if you saw their spouse with someone else? We were discussing it today and I just really wonder how I would react. At first I think, wow I don't want anything to do with that. But then I am not sure how to act "normal".

I guess even a better question is, would I want to know? On one hand I would; but would I believe them over my spouse? So many times the "encounter" isn't a done deal. It's not likely that your going to walk up and see them naked having sex. Usually it's subdtle and could easily be explained.

Also, do you know their relationship? Is it open, and then you look like an ass bringing it up?

What would you do?

Kids there is no one safe to go to...

Why is it so hard to believe women can be evil? I’m not shocked that women commit petty crime, but truly vile premeditated serial killerish crimes, they do. I was watching the Medium last night and the story consisted of a woman and man jointly kidnapping and killing woman. She pretended to be one of his victims and then helped him kill them.

I was so disturbed; I literally put on a “funny” show in hopes to head off a nightmare. Stupid show was "to be continued" also, I hate that, now I have to wait until next Monday to see if this pycho girl is caught.

We are in the presence of greatness...

I may be the last to have seen this video.

I feel like we are witnessing a monumental time in history and everyone is excited for change. I feel that we have simply passed the time for the past 8 years waiting for this election. Our country needs mending, our people need help, and we for sure need to begin moving forward again.

Obama ‘09

YES WE CAN

This is the video that will be shown to our children and grandchildren, that's amazing!

This ad is so effective...must watch

http://www.dothetest.co.uk/

What Kind of Parent Are You?

I cried for the first time tonight in a very long time and the tears were not of joy! I cried for two young boys and their innocence.
I have looked after a young boy in my son's class now for two weeks. I have him from 11 Am until 6 Pm. I do it for no money, no trades, just because I wanted good mommy juju in this universe because I know I will need help one day i.e. going to back to school. Karma!
Well I had to end it tonight. I did it with tears in my eyes while I looked this mother of two in her drugged up face. This woman has no sense of responsibility, no compassion, no fucking clue what it means to be an adult, let alone a mother of two young boys struggling in this world.
I have really enjoyed having this kid every day.
This little boy had a lot of firsts in the last two weeks. He had never been to a local park. He never gets ice cream, he never gets the attention I have given him. I debated about my decision tonight because I know that this little guy needs a family like ours to let him know what normal is. But his mom showed up 40 minutes late for the fifth night in a row because she was at home getting high.
She's a mess and now I'm in the middle of a mess. I have to help these boys. Unfortunately, it will involve child services.
I'm scared for these kids and their future. The oldest boy is only 8 and I've never met a more angry child in my life. The youngest goes from happy to sad in one second when I take him home. When I took them home one night last week, they refused to let me walk them to their apartment. I later found out there was nobody home when I left them. Their mom assured me someone would be there to keep after them. It was 6:30 Pm. The oldest boy is 8! I would have never forgiven myself if something would have happened to them.
I can't help all the children living like this, but I will sure as hell try and help these two boys. Their mom needs help too. She needs to get clean and be a mother!
It's ironic. I went into this situation selfish. I wanted mommy karma. In the end I might be the karma for two innocent little boys and their mom.

Your house ain't shit...

New carpet, new cabinets, new deck, yeah well your house still ain't shit; home appraisals suck. Our house just got a sub par grade and I am considering giving it a total whooping. Way to step up and make yourself look good, especially after all we have done, lazy good for nuttin, bleep, bleep, bleep.

And to pour a little more salt in the wound, no 2nd mortgages, one year! Sweet.

Let's all thank our wonderful President for this lovely financial crisis~

I love you honey, but don't get fat!

Now, before you go yelling my name and profanities, I have spent my life as a woman with weight issues. So don't even start to give me any shit.
And feel free to say my name in vein, but at least have a better reason to do it.
What if you all of a sudden realized that your spouse/significant other has decided to let it ALL GO! Whether it's their weight, their hair, their hygiene, their diet, take on a new addiction, jumped back into an old one? If your spouse says, I love you honey, but don't get fat? What if you want to say something similar to them? How do you respond to that? How would they respond? Of course we will all use our nice words and say it differently. However, aren't you supposed to love them for better or worse, blah, blah, blah. And them you? Sure we will still love them if they put on a few, but when you notice it's going to far, where do you draw the line before you say, well, lets figure out what you need to do to make yourself feel better.
Now weight, not the only issue, there are many, many more. If they walk out of the house after not showering for a few days, their clothes not as clean as you would like them to be? Etcetera...
Marriage is and should always be a mutually beneficial arrangement.
Now, am I saying that this is the only aspect to chemistry? No, I am not that stupid, but let's be real, attraction, lust, mind-blowing sex are the benefits of a great marriage, but if you don't have chemistry, if you don't appreciate your partner's appearance, then you are going down a very bumpy road.
I am very attracted to my husband, and like in all marriages you have to check in from time to time. We are our own worst critic when it comes to what we want from ourselves and our appearances. But you have to realize, you made a commitment to this person, and you not giving a shit about yourself or what you look like, well, that can come right back to bite you in the ass, whether its a big ass or a small ass, don't matter at all.
Chemistry in marriage is a real issue, you lose that, where the hell do you go from there?
Now don't even get me started on marriages that don't even start out with it. Because I may even start shouting profanities.

Enter at your own risk...

I am sure everyone has read about Governor Eliot Spitzer and his predilection to hookers. Despite the fact that his own wire tapping got him caught I am sure he is not the only politician buying sex. Although his self righteousness regarding the issue is quite humorous.

I really don’t think that prostitution should be illegal. I say regulate and tax the hell out of it. Let’s get better schools, roads, pay public servants more money, etc... Since it is not going away, why not profit from it.

I do however take issue with the media dragging this girls name and identity through the mud. They’ve published her picture, her full name, where she lives. Have some fucking decency and let her live her life. It doesn’t make the case against Spitzer any better; there is no reason for it. Although if she is smart, she will use it to her advantage like Monica and start a purse business or something :)

Can’t we all just get along and pay for anonymous sex if we want too?

To work or not to work, that is the question...

I recently caught an episode of a new reality show on TLC. It is called "The Secret Life Of A Soccer Mom". The premise is a week in the life of the career you gave up to stay home. The twist is you do it in secret; your family thinks that you won a week at the spa. Odd I know. Well, without much shock it has sparked some serious backlash from mothers everywhere. While I have no problem with the actual premise, the secretness of it leaves me a little uncomfortable.

But it does raise a interesting question. Why do woman divide themselves? Why do we condemn stay at home mothers or working mothers? The backlash would not be there is we didn't have such high emotions toward one or the other. I will tell you I do not think one is better than the other. The personal choice woman make is individual and should not be judged.

Being a working mother I have recieved my share of hurtful comments, some from friends, some from family and some from complete strangers. And let me say the ones judging are mainly woman. Why do we do this? If you are one of these woman, STOP IT. Motherhood is hard enough, let us all live our lives with support and respect. And if you get the urge to tell someone what you think about their life, keep your mouth shut and remember the cardinal rule "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Sayonara Aunt Flo

Aunt Flo visited this morning; I was happy to see her, she had delayed her stopover by about 2 weeks so I was anxious for her to arrive. Although, now that she is here, I remember why she annoys me and due to her tardiness I have swollen breasts, abdominal pain and severe bitchiness.

While usually a very even, calm person; today I have gone through almost every known emotion. It is now early evening and I have hit angry. My poor family will need to walk gingerly, while I will try to hold back my rage, I cannot promise anything.

Aunt Flo, glad you came, not so glad you stay so long, will be really happy when you lose my address forever.

Depressed in Utah

A recent study published by Mental Health America states that Utah has been ranked as the most depressive state in the country. To be precise, according to MHA, some 10.14 percent of adults in Utah "experienced a depressive episode in the past year and 14.15 percent experienced serious psychological distress. ... Individuals in Utah reported having on average 3.27 poor mental health days in the past 30 days." Wow!
And of couse, women, are more likely to be diagnosed than men.
They are trying to figure out just why we have achieved this profound award. Could it be the "deeply rooted" culture, we don't even have to say what that culture is, that's how deep it is. Is it the expectation that women are supposed to bear it all? Keep smiling, volunteer, buy presents, drive carpools, make doctors appointments, support their neighbors, make sure your family functions like clockwork.
Just paraphrasing guys, don't get your tighty-whities in a twist.
But what if we aren't part of this rooted culture? What is our excuse?
Do we need an excuse, I don't have an excuse, why are you asking, just leave me alone...?
Are we finally coming to the realization that this is so much more common than this study could even statistically prove?
This is a real disease, and it affects everyone, but I am certainly curious as to why, we get so lucky to be labeled the most depressed state, and our friends over in Hawaii, with their damn tranquil waters and air that smells of flowers, and just makes you happy, get to be rated as #2, and for all of you that are incredibly curious, South Dakota #1? What!!! Well, their tourism site says...Great Faces. Great Places.

Mourning a Loss

I am in mourning today.
I have lost two friends that have been with me since I was about 12 years old. When I first met them I was a little annoyed I have to admit. They seemed to bring me too much attention. Once I got to know them I learned how to use them to my advantage.
Together we learned how rough some guys were and how gentle others can be. Even how jealous other women can get!
When my husband first met them he fell in love. We all became close friends!
Once my first child was born we lost "contact" a little. Understandable, given the demands of a baby. When my second came along, they left me without any goodbye.
I miss them! I know I can buy some new friends, but their friendship doesn't come with a money back guarantee. I'm not ready for the risk!
Oh my LARGE, sweet, perky boobs! Why did you have to leave me so fast?
I miss you! Won't you come back? I promise to touch you everyday..... 50 times a day even! I will wear the prettiest of bras to best show you of in all of your glory! I will never make you dry and cracked from breastfeeding again! I will always use you for GOOD not for evil!
These things I promise!
Just think of the good old days!

Distraction is bliss

Someone I know recently got laser hair removal and part of the package was a brazilian. If you don't know what that is, they take off all hair on your neather region and bum.

She was telling me during her session the woman would be talking to her and without warning say "labia" and shock it. Seriously, one of the funnier things I've heard in awhile.

Needless to say it was painful and she has to go back 5 more times. So, if you want a bald muff apparently laser is where it's at.