We have tried the environment, politics, parenting, bikini wax, shoes, automobiles...Let's talk about sex. Because talking about it feels a little bit like the first time you had phone sex, forgive me if I blush.
What are the ingredients for keeping this oh-so-sacred part of your life, spicy? alive? with at least a faint pulse?
What does it take? Mystery? Games? Adventure? Flirting? Naked Yoga?
Remember the days of dating. You couldn't have enough sex. You had it in places that are unspeakable, possibly at times, unsanitary.
It didn't take a sitter for the night, a couple bottles of wine, or a bad porn on Comcast. Not that there is anything wrong with any of those things, but you didn't take them two times a day, with a full glass of water like a prescription.
Remember when flirtation made butterflies dance in your stomach. Now they are interrupted by a child's cry for a glass of water, the dogs need to go out, you have to get up early, blah, blah, blah...
Can that moment of virtual freedom feel like a really good movie? One that makes your heart beat and you look around the room to see if anyone is feeling the same thing?
It is baffling. Does it really just take putting on "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak, "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye, whatever you fancy, top off the Jack and coke, and well?
Who knows maybe it gets easier at some point? For now, I wait for your thoughts, your wise sage advice?
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Sex, sex, sex, sex...
Thoughts by Felicity at 9:43 PM
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7 comments:
I'm sure all the ladies will have more interesting and complicated ideas but I will give you the guys perspective.
Show em your boobs.
It's like fishing with dynamite.
An interesting perspective :) .
Show em your boobs? Is is really THAT simple? Oh wait, men are SIMPLE. All kidding aside..Embrace where you are RIGHT NOW. There will be a day that you will miss your children crying for a glass of water or having to let your dog out. Sex takes a lot of planning. If your kids go to sleep at 9:00-start foreplay at 9:30. Have a drink, turn off the TV (especially the cheap porn), light some candles, and start a warm bath. That way you know you won't be interrupted. Give each other a massage by candlelight when you get out of the tub. Cliche'? No way! That is such a fun way to lead into sex...you can take your time teasing each other. I hate to say it but if your are searching for the butterfly feeling you once had...you won't find it. But you can find different kind of butterfly in your stomach. A feeling of security, love, commitment, trust,and familiarity. Relax, don't put so much expectation on sex. Relationships are about SO MUCH MORE! Be confident, be sexy, and have FUN! Oh, and offer a blow job, that always does the trick! Good luck.
I think the best way to keep your sex life fresh is to flex your muscles. Stimulate yourself. Think about sex. Make time for it. Do your kegels. And when he wants it and you don't necessarily feel in the mood, do it anyway. You'll get in the mood. And vice versa. The more I have it, the more I want it.
Touch each other, send each other dirty text messages, make flirting a part of your natural communication. :)
Of course, this is all very easy for me to say because I don't have kids.
At this point I'd settle for five minutes without kids in which I don't fall asleep. Seriously.
LOL
As far as the take a bath thing goes, first I'd have to clean the tub and that takes all the fun out of the bath!
My advice?? Go to Vegas and drink a big margarita bong, works every time lol.
Just to clarify, there is no searching for butterflies, not even a caterpillar for that matter. My issue "per say" really isn't even with the relationship, it isn't even part of the equation, because it is the ok part. Sex is complicated, wanting it, timing, letting it be what it is, we all say we can do what we need to do, but being honest about the complexity of it, well, thats just being honest.
Kegels and a Margarita bong! Amen ladies! And boobs, always my friend.
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