The Pursuit of Good Karma

I have spent the last few weeks spewing toxic comments, stories, arguments, criticisms, situations, etc.... I am making a commitment right here and now to stop. I know that I have the potential to be a better person and that I can be a a loving wife, a good mom, and a great friend. But for some reason, I haven't been very good at any of those things over the last few weeks. I am often brought back into reality when something bad or unfortunate happens to someone close to me, and then I say, wow, I am lucky. The crazy thing is, I am lucky everyday, without comparing someones sadness or misfortune.
I have also spent so much time trying to balance the quid pro quo in my life, well, if I do this for you, you should do this in return. I haven't realized how hard it is to expect it and how disappointing it is to not get it. So the expectation has been scratched. I will no longer expect anything in return. If I put the good karma out, extend my love, my friendship, my good will, and it is not reciprocated, the bad karma that person has to live with is not my problem.
I will know that there is truth and authenticity in this pursuit of good karma and happiness, I will know that my kindness is from the heart, when I extend my friendship - it is true...when I show love - it is unconditional.
You may ask why write this down? But to do this I know that the commitment has been made. I will focus on what I have and want, rather than what I don’t have or don’t want. I will focus on my toxic effect on others. I will stop being a bitch. And without expecting it, maybe the rest of the world could step out of their narcissistic costumes and try for their own pursuit of good karma and happiness. And no, that is not an expectation, just merely a suggestion.