To have and to hold

So, as I started to sign the obligatory Valentine's Day card to my husband yesterday, I had an epiphany if you will. I did not apologize for the monster (myself) he has been living with for weeks. Why not you ask? Well, of course he did not sign a contract 7+ years ago to take all of my crap, but frankly, it is partially true. Instead I said, how grateful I was that we put up with each other. Really, once you stop writing the fairy tale marriage like a bad Hollywood script and you realize that every day cannot be wine and roses, you will begin to see the reality of marriage is more rewarding than you ever could have imagined.
Marriage is frustrating, it is a lot of work, you will go to bed angry, fights do not have deadlines, and may last longer than you planned in your dayplanner, but just give yourself some credit, you are just trying to figure this whole thing out.
I know that I am going to be married to my husband for time and eternity, or well, until one of us kicks the bucket, but I feel like I am in an AA meeting, I have accepted the things I cannot change, and have the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom, at least 50% of the time to know the difference.
Now, that is not saying that I am the greatest wife, and accepting, courage and wisdom, don't really just jump out and make themselves obvious, but that is the beauty of life, we are learning things everyday.
I am surrounded by great marriages, including my own, but what is so inspiring to me is how real the relationships are. There is no sugar coating, there is no blowing smoke up your ass, and the harsh reality, I believe is those that say they have a perfect marriage are trying to convince themselves that that is true. And in fact, they are afraid to admit to any insufficiency. I may be on the wrong track, and if so, I am sure I can find something to blame it on later, but isn't marriage about being real. We are lucky to have these relationships, it feels good to know that while we are constantly working hard and making mistakes, this person will always be at your side, and you by theirs. It really is, as the tradition goes, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health. And maybe, there is an unspoken vow, I promise to love you for who you are, 365 days a year, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, all 525,600 minutes of every year year, even with leap year, and NOT WHO I EXPECT YOU TO BE, and of course VICE VERSA.
(please proceed to step off soap box)